“You know, in 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”
—The Doctor, A Christmas Carol
For sixteen years I coached the eighth-grade girls’ basketball team at Lake Region Middle School in Naples, Maine. Across all of those seasons, every practice began the same way: As the girls came out of their locker room they would each grab a ball and scatter across the court to the six baskets to warm up, shooting, dribbling, and chatting with each other. I would move from basket to basket and speak with each player individually, for thirty seconds or so. Each conversation would begin with a high five or a hug, and always a smile. Never, during that initial check-in, did we talk about basketball.
How’s it going today?
How was school?
What’s new?
You look ready to go today!
Why the long face?
Why the big smile?
My comments were always personal and focused on that individual as a human, not a player. The goal was a direct connection that transcended basketball. I did not want any of them, from the highest scorer to the lowest, to think their worth in my eyes was determined by how they performed on the court.
One of my favorite examples of this approach was with my friend Bridgette. Bridgette was an amazing young adult, and she was brave: Although she wasn’t really a basketball player, she tried out for the team anyway, and made it! During the season she probably scored the fewest points and played the least amount of minutes, and yet, if you asked her today, as an adult, I am confident she would say she had an amazing experience.
For some reason, I locked on to the Spanish class she was taking; perhaps it was her family’s Spanish-speaking heritage. Every day at practice as I made my way to her, I would smile and say Hola, Bridgette! In return she would smile and say Hola, Coach! Long after she’d graduated from the middle school, whenever we’d run into each other, the same greeting would play out. I’m sure if I saw her tomorrow, even though years have passed, we would smile and greet each other the same way.
You don’t have to be an amazing basketball player to have an amazing basketball experience—especially if you have a coach that values you first and foremost as an amazing human!
Many years later I learned from the business polling company Gallup that the number-one driver of business success is customer engagement, and the number-one driver of customer engagement is employee engagement—and the number-one driver of employee engagement is a regular short conversation with your supervisor about you.
Hola, Bridgette! was a way for the two of us to connect each day and transcend the sport we were participating in together. Because of these daily interactions, Bridgette knew she was important. Or, to put it differently, she knew she was trusted, respected, valued, and heard.
